Ignition
by Cocoa987
Summary: In which Iggy decides that he needs to learn to drive. Pyrotechnics, injuries, and activities of questionable legality ensue. Oneshot, minor Fax.


Iggy crashed through a fence, and I think I felt my heart stop.

Now, there's not much that phases a bird kid, right? I mean, we put up with danger like every freakin' day, so you'd think we'd be used to it. Iggy blowing stuff up and Gazzy...living up to his name, and Angel pulling yet another freaky stunt - that's all kind of normal. We were normal- well, as normal as you can get.

And then Iggy decided that he needed to learn how to drive.

In hindsight, it was a stupid idea from the get-go. I mean, Iggy was blind. There aren't many blind people on the road. But Fang and I could drive- not very well, but we could drive- so Iggy decided he needed to know as well.

"Oops," was Iggy's only comment as he whipped the steering wheel in the other direction. His face was split in an only-slightly-terrifying grin. I nearly fell on top of said bird-kid when the car lurched in the other direction. A crash from the back of the car alerted me to the fact that Gazzy and Nudge probably weren't buckled up, and probably just crashed in the wall. Ah well. Their bruises.

*

This whole mess had started rather ordinarily- it was a normal day, and that whole cliche. We hadn't been doing anything illegal or anything- just crashed in the first available hotel, when Iggy looked up from where he was crashed on the couch and said "I want to learn how to drive."

It hadn't immediately gone over well. My first reaction was a knee-jerk "no." There was a beat of silence, and then the reactions set in.

"Why not? You and Fang can drive," Iggy fired back. Gazzy snorted.

"Not well," he muttered. Nudge choked on her gum. I glared, and returned my attention to Iggy.

"Fang and I can see," I pointed out as delicately as I could. Iggy shrugged.

"Nudge's had a turn at the wheel once, and she's barely tall enough to see over the wheel. Ow." This was an afterthought, as Nudge had just shoved him playfully off the couch.

"It could be useful," Fang pointed out from his perch (bad pun) on one of the beds. My eyebrow rose- a nifty little trick I'd picked up during our stay with the Navy.

"You seriously trust him behind a wheel? With that much explosive potential?" I asked dryly.

"I didn't even think of that. But can you imagine the explosion? It would be like- kaPOW!" Gazzy said slowly, making a funny little gesture with his hands to elaborate. Iggy cackled, and the two high-fived. I turned to Fang. He gave me a look that clearly said 'ignore that. Get back to the point.'

I raised my other eyebrow. 'do you seriously think this is a good idea?'

Fang made a sound that sounded halfway between a sniff and a snort. 'No. Not at all. But what do we have to lose?'

At least, I think that's what it meant.

"Fine," I gave in. Iggy whooped, and we all trooped outside to look for a car to...borrow.

Of course, Iggy wanted to hotwire it himself. "Blue wire," he ordered. It was lucky he could tell the colors by feel now. It could come in handy. "Red wire. Other red wire. Thank you." A few seconds later it was done.

"Ignition?"

"Check." This was Gazzy, who had called shotgun first.

"That- geary thing?"

"Check."

"Gas?"

"Check," Nudge put in dryly from the back, her voice poking holes in Gazzy's seat. Iggy grinned and slammed his foot onto the gas pedal. We screeched out of the parking lot and went flying down the road.

It took a grand total of five minutes for him to crash the car. It was quite possibly the most jarring experience of my life- literally. I think we ran over like twenty curbs.

Iggy turned to face me. "Oops. How about round two?"

*

Iggy wheeled around a corner, and barreled through the same patch of grass he had twenty minutes ago. Luckily we were in a relative rural area, or we'd be in some trouble by now.

We went flying through the railing, and I didn't bother panicking. I ripped open my door and shot out the side, wings opening as I did. "Up and away, Ig." Gazzy and Nudge were already twenty feet up, and I joined them as soon as I saw Iggy make it safely out of the car.

We watched in relative silence as it plunged down the mountainside to explode into a firey ball of smithereens at the bottom. Nudge whistled.

Gazzy shook his head solemnly. "It wasn't that bad of a car," he told Iggy sadly. Iggy shrugged.

"It was in a dump. Fair game," he reasoned. "Who's up for round- what are we on? Twelve?" Nudge, Gazzy, Angel, and Total all volunteered to go, and they all took off back to the dump in search of another car to kill.

Fang and I hovered over the area, watching their progress. "Still think this is a bad idea?" He asked.

"Yep," I said, watching the car screech out of the dump and swerve down the road. "Bets on how long until they crash?" Fang considered quietly for a moment.

"Ten minutes. Iggy's gotten better. He can't possibly drive off the same cliff seven times in a row, can he?" I shrugged and watched their progress.

"I'll take that bet. He's missed it ever since he made it this far. Look, there he goes."

Iggy swerved to avoid something on the road- I think it was a turtle- and careened over the edge- again. I winced as I watched the car go down. Five figures made it safely out, as always, although Gazzy was a little slow. He darted just out of reach as the pyrotechnics started.

"You think we're going to get in trouble for this?" I asked, as Fang wordlessly passed over a five. I watched the car explode, and that set off another round of commotion down in the newly-founded car graveyard.

"Nah. Well, maybe. You've got to admit it's a little funny." I grinned.

"Yeah. Want to join round 13?" He turned to me, a half-smile slowly making its way across his face.

"Yeah, sure. Let's drive. Last one there sits in back." And then we were off.


End file.
